“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful” – Amy Bloom

As someone being in this transition age – not really a teenager and not an adult yet- I feel like I have seen many people around me feeling insecure about their own selves, and it confuses me.

Why? I fully understand, if it is me to be the one feeling worthless about myself. I know how it feels to look into my reflection in the mirror and curse my big eyes, my dark skin, my fat here and there. I know how it feels to be easily intimidated by everyone – feeling that everyone is above me, is superior. I know how it feels to be jealous (not in a negative way) to everyone around me because how beautiful, how smart, how perfect they are. I know how it feels to be the one wishing I could just disappear in the middle of a crowd. I understand because I felt like it was true, that I was worthless compared to anyone around.

Why I don’t understand those people around me feeling bad about themselves? Because… I don’t see the reason why they should feel any insecurity. I see them with admiration and respect. Those people are the ones that I envied of, that I adore. Those people are the ones with genuine and true heart, with great body that I’ve always wanted to have, with beautiful smile without braces, with national and international Model United Nation awards, with amazing friends around them, with great GPA, with many other reasons that I have no capability of. It confuses me because again, I don’t see any reason of why they should feel insecure.

Then it comes to the point where I understand that the feeling of secure or insecurity comes from both internal – your own thought, and external – feeling intimidated by anything surround you. However, the most important thing is to make peace with you yourself, your internal factor because once you deal with it, you will not let any negativity affects you. Quoting from an anonymous,

An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.  Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.

It derives me to another thought. It comes to the point where I can clearly see it now, that feeling insecure is as normal as feeling hungry. As human as feeling thirsty. Even a finalist of Asia’s Next Top Model was crying and said ‘I feel so worthless‘ while she is stunning from head to toe. I believe that everyone – no matter how good they feel about themselves – must have felt one or two moments of insecurity, and that is totally fine.  I see that everyone is feeling insecure, so no one should overthink about what people say or judge about them because well…basically no one really cares. Because everyone is busy minding their own insecurity. It is totally fine to feel insecure, but what is not fine is when you let the insecurity to affect and bother your initiatives, aspirations, and ambitions.

I know, I know, anyone reading this would think “Its easy for you to say or write it, but it is hard to be applied in real life”. I know, I know it is hard – I’ve been there too, feeling sorry about myself for years, hating myself and did many disgraceful things, but I would gladly announce that I am a survivor. The journey to get there wasn’t easy, but the destination was worth every obstacles. If I could do it, then of course it is possible for anyone else. Trust me.

Just remember this one thing, “Those who mind, don’t matter. Those who matter, don’t mind” – means that those who mind about your flaws, they usually are the ones who do not really matter to your life as they usually are strangers who basically only know your name and judge you whatever they like, while those who matter to you, loves you and care about you would accept you for whatever you are, will accept your flaws.

The very first task for you then, is to find those positive people who matter to you, so you could surround yourself with a bunch of positive energy and vibes, and remove the ones who drag you down.

To close this post, I would say,

You are amazing, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Have a good night, beautiful peeps xx

 


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