Countdown Starts, already?

It is the beginning of May, which means two things; One, I haven’t written anything for two months; Two, May means another countdown – time for me to move back to Indonesia.

The explanation about why I haven’t touched this blog for months is simply because there is always things to do here, as simple as talking with floor-mates, watching movies, or going out for dinner, or classes and exams – yes i’m going to classes because although i’m an exchange student, my courses are graded –, or anything. God knows how many drafts I have in my blog, but I just didn’t really have the time to write.

But now, this post is going to be talking about another thing. Well, the title says it all – it is about my countdown. 5 months, 22 weeks, 147 days, 3.528 hours, 211.680 minutes, 12.700.800 seconds – but why it feels like a blink of an eye?

It really feels like it was yesterday when I’ve just arrived here, walking from campus to my residence with heavy breathing and sweats all over my body. If you know CityU, you probably be like “omg it is only 15 minutes“, but well I am the one to blame. I don’t walk back home, I drive everywhere or take a motorbike taxi. I swear, on my first day I walked around the campus and went to IKEA and then to Nam Shan estate, in that one day, it literally equivalent with five days of me walking back home. Even Indonesia is better because it is just straight path, but in Hong Kong you cannot have a straight path, it is always ups downs stairs elevators. Four months ago, just walking around the campus exhausted me. Now? I can walk from Namshan Estate to residence while chit-chating. I have to put the chit-chat in bold HAHA because there is a pretty high slope there, and four months ago I was dying. I cannot imagine myself walking up with ease like that, so it was quite an achievement for me because I was able to walk up while also wasting my breath by talking and laughing. Other than that, four months ago I cannot imagine myself voluntarily taking the stairs to my room although it is only two floors, now? I often walk upstairs while singing, can you imagine that? How everything has changed?? My legs are stronger, my breath is getting easier, my sweat is calming down – although up until now I still cannot go on a real hike.

Other than that, it amazed me to think how much I love Hong Kong ice milk tea and ice lemon tea today. Before you read this, first of all, forget everything you know about milk tea and lemon tea – the Hong Kong style is something you’ve never seen before. The milk tea is extremely bitter and plain and a bit disgusted especially when it is hot, while the lemon tea is literally lemon tea – with actual slices of lemon. Not one, two, three slices, but like four or five slices of lemon which makes it tastes soo…lemony. I don’t know whether that word even exists, but that is the only way to describe it. Coming from Java, Indonesia, I love sweet, everything is sweet, if you order sweet tea in Java, most likely it will taste like it is sugar decorated with tea rather than tea with a compliment of sugar. Is it a culture shock? You can call this phenomenon with that term if you wish, but coming from my initial liking, I really disliked the taste of these two back then. Now? Hell no I can’t go two days without any of these treats, the taste is getting better and better, sweeter and sweeter, and I love it more and more. Now I am worried about finding this taste once I leave Hong Kong, because pretty sure the Indonesian version would be all sugary.

I also still remember how scared I was for having the scary zombie door that was made by my roommate, if you read my previous post you would know. I avoided it like crazy, I avoid going back home late and/or I always turn the light on if I knew I would come back after dark simply because I don’t want to open my scary door and see a dark room. Today? I touched its hand, I let my –excuse me– butt to keep the door open while my hands are full, and I let the light off and now I see that my door is actually cool! Another thing is that, my roommate, Gina has been a lovely roommate that awkwardly I cannot sleep without her. It sounds weird, and baby-ish I know, but it just feels so weird knowing that she’s not there and I am all alone. She went here and there for days sometimes, and each time she’s not here, I always sleep late – or early whatever you call it because I slept at 6 am everytime she’s not around. In other days when she’s here, I usually will start to sleep when she wants to sleep and vice versa. Having her as a roommate I keep on seeing 24/7 has been a new habit of mine . This fact is heartwarming because I have never ever had a roommate before, and I was once really afraid of it – but now I am getting dependent to her that even we adjust our sleeping time with each other. Also, the thought of not having her and probably will never see her again, worries me – scared me.

So many things has happened, so many changes has happened in such a short time that only feels like four minutes although it is actually four months. Looking back, there are so many things that I thought was foreign, uncomfortable, scary, and any other negative adjectives, but today, it has turned into something that I more than enjoy.

To be frankly honest, I am a free soul – I am homeless. I have been moving around a lot more times that I can remember. I have no place to call home – no hometown, no real home home, every place is just temporary home – so does Hong Kong. Yet, it does not change the fact that I am easily attached with these temporary homes.

Or probably… probably, being homeless got me to the point where everything – every places make me settle easily, and easy to call a place as home because I have no idea which is a real home and which is not. So now, it also got to the point where I see Hong Kong as a home – as a place where I will leave a piece of me. It got to the point where I am getting scared to go back, and leaving my life here behind, and let it be a memory. It scares me to think that I will leave this bedroom, bathroom, this hall, this campus, this city or this country FOR GOOD. It annoys me to think that I will start driving again soon and feel tired of the traffic rather than easily take the MTR. It makes me sad to think that I have a only a tiny possibility to meet with the majority of people I met here in the future. It gives me a lot of thoughts about all of my experiences here in Hong Kong, both positive and negative, and I might write more about it later because one post is not enough to say what I have to say.

And now, the countdown starts, again. Twenty eight days to go. Take a deep breath.

Do I feel happy or unhappy for going back? Am I feeling excited or terrified to go back? Do I wish the time goes faster or slower? These are questions I will never be able to answer.

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